Transformation

“And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.” (Gen 2:22)

God presented the woman to the man as a gift, but some have abused this. We have been given bodies that men can’t resist and we know it. It is the ones that use this for their own satisfaction that have told men that we are deceptive people and should not be trusted. The pure ones have been trying for years to keep their bodies as well as their minds pure.

I have heard many men complain that girls are not dressing appropriately and are showing too much which make their minds run wild. I hate to admit it, but there are girls who dress to get attention. Yes, it is the wrong attention, but they think that it is ok. But what about the girls who have been trying to be pure and feel like we have to take on the purity of the world?

I took an oath of purity in 7th grade, a year before I found out that my dad had an addiction to porn. I knew what I was getting into. It was the year I found out that my best guy friend was also addicted. These were both great men after God’s own heart. I knew that if I didn’t take a stand, who would?

I was modest to the point where I was afraid to show even the slightest bit of skin knowing that it could make a brother stumble. I knew that I could not have that on my conscience. So I decided to cover the best I could, but I basically was a guy. In return I lost something. The gift that God had given me: being a woman.

I have been struggling with the idea that I am a woman. I know what your thinking, “That shouldn’t be hard to wrap your head around.” It isn’t that I’m struggling with being a woman but how to act as a woman of God that will not allow others to stumble.

I have to continually remind myself that guys will see me how they want to, even when I’m wearing the most modest clothing. Please don’t take my words the wrong way. Modesty is still very important, but wearing clothing that looks like a potato sack does not mean that a guy won’t look at you and fantasize. It took me many of my guy friends to convince me that it is not my fault if a guy stumbles.

Even though I couldn’t change the thoughts of guys, I could keep my mind pure. So I made an extra oath onto my purity, the mind. I have to say, it’s not easy. It is a beautiful struggle that will shape me for all of my life.

Some have asked me, “Would you change your past?”

My answer still stands.

No.

If it wasn’t for my past, I would not be who I am nor will I be the person I was created to be.